1. When I was still in high school, I would always fall asleep in class. It didn't matter how interesting or boring the subject was,i would just put my head on the desk and dream through every lecture they threw at me. One time i think the teacher was talking about dinosaurs, but that could have been a dream because I was asleep the whole time. My mom would always ask me what I learned in school that day, and I told her nothing because I was asleep in class. Sometimes my friends would sleep along with me, but for the most part it was just me sleeping alone in class. I even had to see the counselor about my sleeping problem, but i slept through our meeting, so I'm not sure what we talked about. They tried to kick me out of school, but I slept through that also. Sleepy Sleepersteins, that's what they would call me, all the way to graduation. Years later, I got a job as a computer programmer. One day my boss asked me if he could borrow my stapler, and sure enough, I didn't have one.
2. When I was four, my parents caught me drinking rubbing alcohol and beating my "wife" I had made out of tin foil and rubber bands. I don't remember what they said, but they were so mad. I remember them taking my "wife" away from me and kicking me out of the house. Sometimes I call them and ask how she's doing, and they say, "She's in a nursing home, babbling things." because they think I mean my grandma.
3. I kill women for the fun of it.
4. At a recent feminist rally, I suggested they hire some really hot girl to be their spokeswoman rather than some "war-scarred bull dike". Plus maybe they could do a feminist swimsuit calendar or something. Well, apparently these activists have something against men or something because they all started pointing and yelling and crap like that. Last time I try to help the cause of feminism.
5. When someone was visiting the "thinking about you" page, I thought about having sex with them. But somebody else was on that page too, so they saw it all. Kinky. Come on guys, let's try to organize our time.
6. This is Chris Walker, Co-creator of Line_Up_Less. I have a confession to make. I used to write for this web site all the time (I even created this page). But in the last month I haven't done any writing at all. Not because I'm "Lazy"- Marc. But because I've been working day and night on the Extravaganza. The good news is that i finished the script for the Extravaganza last night. Now I will have more time for the web site.
Another thing I would like to clear up is a rumor that's been going around. Certain people have been saying that Poopels the Clown (who appeared at Line_Up_Less' second show) and Chris Walker are the same person.Well let me tell all you nazi lovers something, I wouldn't be caught dead in the same room with that low life Poopels. If Marc wants to associate himself with that clown... fine! But I hope Marc doesn't think for one second that Poopels the Clown will be attending the Extravaganza. I've already told security that if Poopels is seen anywhere near the Tab he should be disarmed of all his pies and beaten with a bouquet of flowers that squirt water when one smells them.
